How to get into maximum mischief in Mexico and survive

Me and the Garica Garcia Brothers in Monterrey Mexico

Me and the Garica Garcia Brothers in Monterrey Mexico

In a couple of weeks, I am returning to Monterrey, Mexico where I lived for 2 months in 2007 and was adopted by a family of brothers called the Garcias from Garcia Garcia region of Nuevo Leon.

The experience left me truly humbled. I was treated like a brother and will never forget the generosity of the family and community.

In this post, I will explain lessons of how I met the Garicias on the street, gained acceptance and safety when alone.

The Street Meet
The premise, is you hang out in a place with community feel and near a university and wait for someone to take you home. It worked for me but it was pretty freaky and I cannot give tips without sounding like a douche. For the majority I recommend couch surfing not street meets.

Inter-cultural social networking

Now you have a place to stay some ideas for becoming a champion.

  • Learn the basic greetings
  • My Spanish sucked but I quickly learned the basic greetings.
    Knowing the greetings plus follow-ups in social situations (there will be many) puts others at ease and gives you more respect. Get up to speed before arriving my sitting a course or listening to the Michael Thomas Spanish course.

  • Become a parrot (non Speakers)
  • Even if it feels uncomfortable, repeat what your host\friends say even if you have no idea what it means. Show people that you are trying to learn they will like it.

  • Get drunk
  • Get drunk even more. This assists in being a parrot and builds trust with your fellow Amigos

  • Deal with the unknown
  • Plans will be made on your behalf. You will be going somewhere in a speeding car wearing no seat belt. Embrace the fear, accept death and choose to die in an alternative way. Or prey to Jesus Christ that it won’t be your last ride.

  • Do it for the kids
  • When you come across children (and you will being in Latin America). Teach them a game. Speak English, their parents will think you are great despite being a gringo. Guide them through 1 to 10 even better teach them how to head butt.

  • Be clear about why you are there
  • Internet marketer, digital consultant or just hanging out doesn’t mean shit to the mothers of the community. They will want to know exactly why you are in their community. Be clear about your plan and how long you will be around. It will make for better Kalma and more opportunities.

    Supertip: You will be asked whether you are Christian. There is only one right answer.

  • Join a team
  • Jump at the opportunity to play a sport\game you excel. Nothing bridges cultural differences like friendly competition. But don’t lose and don’t suck especially if it is football. Luckily, my hosts were softball mad and a game I played for 20 years.

  • Speak up if you feel uncomfortable
  • If you genuinely don’t want to do it then say “NO”. Use your body language. Make every thing about you represent “NO”. Walk away. Remember NO means NO unless you are asked by the BOSS MAN of the family.

  • Don’t sleep with their woman
  • Ok, you are hitting home runs, keeping the BBQs colorful, matching them in the drink offs, gaining celebrity status in the community. Don’t ruin it and sleep with any of their woman. Sisters, daughters and maids included.

    And remember DO NOT sleep with anyone’s wife otherwise you are fucking dead.


    An analogy of safety in Latin America is the same as lambs in a pack. Lambs should stay with the pack. If you have to stray, don’t go where the wolves prowl, do act like Dad and his other ram buddies are just over the next hill.

  • Be physically strong
  • Be as fit and strong as you can. (Self Explanatory)

  • Use the Traffic Light System
  • I have been practicing this system for years after reading the “Art of Fighting without Fighting”. Basically, you internalize green, yellow and red to reflect the risk of the outside world and respond accordingly. If you practice it enough it becomes a sub-conscious thing. We have it naturally but can be nulled out after years of living with in safe zero threat environments.

  • Walk like you know where you’re going
  • The perception that you know your surroundings even when you don’t is a powerful deterrent against bad guys. Walk strong. This does not mean walk like big daddy or a body builder. Just walk with confidence and awareness.

  • Look like a local
  • Don’t wear bling, dress as the locals do, the more you blend in the more you represent a local interest and the less someone will fuck with you.

  • If you are a woman then carry
  • Most of these tips don’t apply to woman. Woman should walk with company in unfamiliar places.
    If you must go alone I recommend a Tazer and don’t be afraid to use it.

And there you go. Monterrey is coming up and I am looking forward to playing nine innings practicing my new found Spanish and not getting in TOO much trouble.